FCP 2

Rong Ju knew well she was dreaming. That was a common occurrence in her childhood, when memories of her old life would flash by in a jumbled mess. She started to pray, offer incense, or recite scriptures—though just perfunctorily at first. Her dream became clearer along with it. She had an innate sense of recognition and understanding towards the dreams once she woke up. 

That was how she came to know she had been reincarnated. Some decades ago, before she learned how to write her own name, there was another name: her name in the old life. Once she learned to write ‘Rong Ju’, the name slipped out of her mind. Her previous life was not anywhere near the current culture. She even had a different religion. Then, as she learned more and prayed more, she started having fewer dreams and fewer things to hold on to from her old life, until all those memories finally stopped coming. 

So she knew she was dreaming of her old life again, but was completely puzzled over why. It had been nearly decades since her last dream. When she woke up, she tried to sort out the jumbled mess she identified as an old life’s memory, feeling an understanding of the matter in her dream swelling up, and she finally decoded the dream. 

And it felt like thunder clapping right beside her ears; though when she turned her head, what she saw was the newly-wedded husband of hers, Xu Yanling. 

No wonder his name is familiar. 

Rong Ju stared at him with enough complexity that it perhaps roused Xu Yanling from his sleep. Their eyes met. Rong Ju remembered a description: dark, quiet eyes that could bend you to do his will without a word. She just noticed that Xu Yanling’s features could be called delicate, though not so delicate that he looked feminine; in fact, the sharpness of his father’s features was present in her temple and cheekbones. 

“Husband,” Rong Ju called. He blinked, showing off his long eyelashes. “It was improper of me to fall asleep early,” she continued as she rose to sit. 

From what her dreams revealed, Xu Yanling was serious, law-abiding, upright, and solemn, and dared to recite ancient teachings or the classics to his own parents at the age of seven. Rong Ju dared not be careless, even if yesterday’s marriage rites were a little different from what she was taught; perhaps the culture in the capital differed. 

Xu Yanling also rose. He still wore that expressionless, solemn, serious face. “It is good for you to rest when it’s late. A healthy body begins with a healthy rest.”

Rong Ju nodded in agreement, then asked, “However, we have yet…” She pondered a bit and whispered, “consummate our marriage...” Then she pretended to cough as she continued, “I am afraid it’s not proper and slighting the rules.”

“The rules are dead while people are alive,” whispered him, “we will have plenty of time in the future.”

This made Rong Ju glance with surprise, saw the tip of his ear reddening, then she felt her own cheeks reddening. So she could only nod. 

When Xu Yanling stepped out of bed, Rong Ju’s mind wandered to her dream. 

This dream was jumbled as always, but she had an innate recognition and understanding. 

You see, once, she had read a Mary Sue novel. The female protagonist was reborn before her downfall alongside her former husband, and then they lived a life of glory step by step. The exact storyline did not matter as Rong Ju could piece it together simply from the history she had learnt. Especially about the Duke of Changping’s residence, alongside all the extra knowledge after she was engaged to Xu Yanling. 

Now, the most important point was: Xu Yanling is the female protagonist’s only son. He was set to inherit the Duchy, the most favoured grandson of the Yun clan’s leader (and the Prime Minister), the Crown Prince’s childhood study partner, regarded as nephew by the current Emperor, and most of all… well, he was incredibly handsome. Rong Ju’s dream revealed to him just a few sentences about Xu Yanling in his infancy stage and how he fared with his free-spirited parents, but that was all. Nothing about his adulthood.

How did this marriage even happen? Rong Ju wondered while bathing and changing her clothes in a separate room from the bridal chamber. There were servants serving her; she did not show any awkwardness as they were part of her dowry. 

When she came face-to-face with Xu Yanling again, she felt somewhat apprehensive. He took her to eat a light breakfast. Once that was done and the time was right, he stood up. Looked at her. That was all it took; Rong Ju knew it was time to offer tea to his parents, so she stood up, straightened her robes, and nodded to them. He offered his hand, she took it. They went out of the courtyard.

How did this marriage happen? Rong Ju asked herself again. She was not surprised that she did not have “this world is a novel” realisation from childhood, as she was an avid reader both in her old and current life. It was impossible to remember everything she had read. Moreover, she did not properly remember Xu Yanling’s name when they were engaged… why did I get approved as a prospective bride?

They arrived at a grand, spacious hall, entering with resounding footsteps. Rong Ju snapped her mind back to the present reality and checked her in-laws’ family: so many people. Her old life’s dream did not recall them, but her studies had given her a good guess at every person’s identity. For one, the middle-aged couple in the main seat would be her parents-in-law, with the mother-in-law being the female protagonist. The older couple seated above them was the grandparents-in-law. The other people scattered at both sides would be Xu Yanling’s relatives. The one on the left, the mother-in-law’s side, would be from the Yun clan; three pairs. The one on the right was just two pairs; Rong Ju was unsure where they came from. 

Xu Yanling led her first to the left side, clearly favouring her maternal lineage. Her guess was right: these were her uncle and aunts-in-law from the Yun clan. Then they went to the left side, where Xu Yanling introduced the pair sitting farther from the Xu family. Then the one sitting near was from the He family, from the Southern Border’s Guardian with the rank of Prince, regarded as the former Emperor’s half-brother. Succinctly, the imperial family’s representative.

Finally, Xu Yanling led her to the parents-in-law. The female protagonist still looked radiant and smiled brightly, while the male protagonist was eagle-eyed and solemn. But more than them, Xu Yanling looked like the old grandfather who sat straight behind them: serious, upright, with deep, dark eyes. 

Though Rong Ju observed quite intensively, nobody seemed offended. They were all smiling, accepting her tea and stuffing her with gifts. When the whole ceremony was finally over, the Second Aunt from the Yun clan, married out to the Zhang family, so she was Madam Zhang—teased: “Yanling finally has a wife now, it’s time to learn how to spoil and dote on your wife. I wonder what Yanling would look like later?”

Xu Yanling responded solemnly, “It is not good to spoil your wife mindlessly, as it contradicts the ancestors’ teachings. Husbands and wives should respect each other so the marriage stays harmonious.”

The hall turned slightly tense. 

Before anyone could react, and right when the mother-in-law’s face turned dark, Rong Ju spoke up, “What the husband said is completely right. We should do things in accordance with the rules.” Those words, she spoke sincerely; after all, even if this marriage was unequal in standing, Xu Yanling did not show dissatisfaction, though not joy either. Respect was just right. She did not believe in love at first sight, nor would she believe Xu Yanling had already fallen for her. 

The hall was rendered speechless.

“I see you are a match made in heaven,” the father-in-law, Xu Sheng, spoke solemnly and glanced behind him. “You really pick the right match, father-in-law.”

Rong Ju’s grandfather-in-law, Yun Chenming, ignored him. At the same time, Rong Ju was finally enlightened: so she was chosen by the esteemed Yun Patriarch!

“Well, it’s good if you children get along,” the mother-in-law and female protagonist spoke up, though she massaged her temples. “Well, we didn’t have many rules in the Xu family. Should we have breakfast now?”

Xu Yanling nodded, led Rong Ju to stand at the side while the servants changed the interior furniture. The family from Xu’s side excused themselves as they had eaten; Rong Ju noted this down in her mind. The remaining one in the hall was from the Yun family and the He family. The men gathered on one side while the wives surrounded Rong Ju, the newlywed wife. The parents-in-law were muttering something in a hall’s corner with the grandparents-in-law, where both sides looked not-so-great; perhaps the lighting?

Noticing where Rong Ju’s eyes went, Madam Zheng said, “Don’t worry about them; they always have a little quarrel every time they meet.”

“That’s inappropriate,” said Xu Yanling suddenly, clearly displeased. “Wife, wait here.” He sauntered over there.

Madam Zheng looked at him, speechless, while the other aunt-in-law, the eldest sister out of all the mother-in-law’s relatives, Madam Ji, spoke: “Sorry, our Yanling is still not accustomed to having a wife. It’s really not considerate of him to leave you here all alone.”

Rong Ju shook her head. “Aunt, it is commendable that the husband would mediate between the elders’ conflict. It shows his filial piety.”

Madam Ji smiled and nodded, “Well, what you say is true.”

“You are such a good child,” commented the wife of the uncle-in-law, Madam Yun, with a tender smile. “You should get along well with Yanling. He has been very picky and particular since he was a child, but thankfully, the experience in Xinan Province had tempered him out better.”

“Right,” Madam Zheng joined in again, “he has learned how hard ordinary people live now and not as extravagantly as before.”

Rong Ju was fairly surprised. The dream did not mention that. Though she was curious, she simply smiled, restraining the flutter of curiosity.

But Madam Zheng was clearly a talkative person. She came closer and explained in hushed voice, “You should know, back when he was a child, Xiao Yanling was so picky that he couldn’t stand any type of milk, it needed to be the kind of milk sourced from the finest wild goat that has no fishy smells, that he can’t stand clothes that are not the most expensive silk—”

“Aunt.” Xu Yanling arrived with a slight disapproving frown. “Please do not smear my reputation. I am not a child; I have no such bad habits anymore.”

Rong Ju had another enlightenment: perhaps her grandfather-in-law approved of her because she was frugal? After all, frugality in moderation was part of living a pious life. 

The breakfast table was ready. The whole family sat at the same table with the grandparents-in-law in the main seat. Rong Ju wanted to serve her mother-in-law, the female protagonist whose name she had forgotten, but Madam Xu waved her off and repeated sternly: “I accept your filial piety, child, it’s enough. Our Xu family has no rules like that.”

Rong Ju accepted with gratitude and sat down beside Xu Yanling.

She was reserved and silent as she ate, listening to the talk among the elders. She then noticed Xu Yanling’s hand sometimes stopped, twitched, or pressed harder on his utensils at every fleeting mention of his childhood. Unfortunately, he followed the gentlemen’s rules that stated not to talk when eating. Only when he finished, and his father still brought up how they hired five cooks and changed the whole kitchen staff to suit his palate, did he speak up: “Father, please stop bringing up my embarrassing past. You should be magnanimous as an elder and let go of a child’s behaviour, especially when it’s all in the past. A gentleman does not hold grudges.”

“You!” the father-in-law immediately pointed at him, angry and speechless.

All in all, it was an informative breakfast, though Rong Ju only spoke after all dishes were cleared or when asked. 

When they returned to their courtyard and were alone in their room, Xu Yanling suddenly bowed. “I am sorry for my family’s embarrassing conduct, Wife.”

Rong Ju took his arm and pushed him up, “Please don’t be too formal. It is good that your family gets along well, Husband. I am happy to have been accepted and worry I am too quiet and it displeases the elders.”

“They approved the marriage, so they would not dislike you.” Xu Yanling rose from his bow, staring at her. 

Then nothing. 

They stared at each other in silence for a few minutes, completely still and proper, until Xu Yanling said, “Do you play chess, Wife?”

So they played chess together. 

Among the four arts, Rong Ju’s weakest skill was in chess. In the end, she had a chess-tutoring session with her new husband. When it was time to eat lunch, they ate quietly in the dining hall, before strolling around in the garden to digest, speaking about flowers and reciting some poems. Rong Ju noted down that Xu Yanling prefers nature poems that are themed around steadiness, strength, or fortitude. She spoke more about poems that were about beauty, hope, new beginnings… and slipped one about longing for one’s hometown, just because she saw a small artificial lake on the far side of the garden. Her province had a lake.

Xu Yanling suddenly stopped, stared at her with his deep, dark eyes, then said word for word: “Tomorrow, we will go back to the Rong family.”

Rong Ju was taken aback for a moment. She considered this, trying to say it did not need to be so, as she was thinking about their standing. Even if they did not return to the natal home on the third day per common rites, the Rong family would not dare to mind, nor did she.

But what she said in the end was: “Okay.”

“How are they?”

“The son and daughter-in-law… are on good terms, Madam.”

Yun Xiyu narrowed her eyes. “How did they get along?”

The maid assigned to her son’s courtyard lowered her head and explained the two newlywed couple activities, which were all part of the Four Arts.

Xu Sheng laughed out loud when hearing this. “Really, that kid, what is he doing, testing his wife’s knowledge? What does he think marriage is, imperial examination?”

Yun Xiyu pinched him, and he immediately settled down. “Alright, go back.” When the maid left, she glared at his husband, “Don’t say things like that, what if it got out and made Rong Ju’er misunderstood!”

With a wronged tone, Xu Sheng defended himself: “Did I say the wrong thing? What kind of couple gets along like that!”

Yun Xiyu sighed. “Our son has grown up; he has his own life. We can’t keep him to our own standards.” She thought of her new daughter-in-law’s temperament today and added, “I think she doesn’t mind. After all, Father specially recommends her too.”

Xu Sheng rolled his eyes. “You just favour your Father and don’t care for your husband.”

“Shut up.” Yun Xiyu slapped his knee lightly. “Do you think I also don’t want a lively daughter-in-law for Yanling? But he doesn’t like that type. He also agreed to his grandfather’s choice; otherwise, would he marry? Can anyone force him to do anything?”

After a moment of thinking, Xu Sheng agreed, but still sighed. “We have this silent bitter gourd, so why do we still get him another silent type? We finally have someone we could call our own daughter, but she’s just a copy of that little bitter gourd.”

“Okay, it’s just my fault that I can’t give birth, is it?”

“No, no, dear wife, you misunderstood–no wait, listen to my explanation… Wife, don’t go….”

*

Returning to the Rong family was a mundane affair for Rong Ju. While Xu Yanling was flattered and praised head to toe by the Rong relatives, her mother took her aside and asked about the general situation. Rong Ju could only answer: “It’s fine, the in-laws are welcoming, friendly, and affectionate. I don’t even need to serve my mother-in-law with her meals….” This was said exactly as her own mother had served her grandmother, until Rong Ju was favoured by the latter and the practice ceased. Her mother cried for a while about her good fortune, but also warned her about the many forces entangled with the Xu family, especially Madam Xu as the centre. Everything she said was something Rong Ju had known. 

Xu Yanling cut this return trip short when he called Rong Ju to step out. This made her mother stand by the gate with worry, thinking the Rong relatives had made him dislike her. Yet on the way back, Xu Yanling was still per usual: calm, composed, upright.

They returned to the house and had another round of doing calligraphy and painting together. Xu Yanling’s brush skills were superb. At his wife’s amazement, he painted her a scene of a lifelike stalk of chrysanthemum along with a poem of its beautiful bloom. 

Knowing well Rong Ju’s name was the same character as chrysanthemum. 

Though they sat at an arm’s length, just enough so she could see how he drew and wrote, Rong Ju suddenly felt they were a lot closer now than before. She felt a flutter in her heart. As she accepted the painting, she bowed deeply with gratitude. 

Thus, that night, they consummated the marriage–as expected, it was a stinging pain, but Xu Yanling knew how to restrain himself and let the pain fade before trying again. The next morning, she had breakfast with her parents-in-law and saw their faces beaming as they added more and more dishes to her bowl. During this time, the Duchess told her about the newly-built praying hall and to let Xu Yanling take her there after breakfast, which he did. They sat in the praying hall where Rong Ju recited a scripture to erase the debts of past life that she remembered by heart. Xu Yanling accompanied her, sitting upright until the end. It was already past lunch, and they returned to the courtyard together.

This mode of getting along fits them perfectly. When a maid reported this matter to Yun Xiyu, Duchess of Changping, she finally let go of her worry.

Xu Yanling’s marriage holiday would end in three days. 

Rong Ju had previously known that Xu Yanling had been moved to the capital’s Ministry of Revenue a month before their marriage, so they did not return to Xinan province. Then, she took up the duty of managing the household from the Duchess. As the Duchess was most magnanimous and trusting, Rong Ju had quite the easiest time learning how to manage a household. She felt great satisfaction now for having a job. 

When their marriage had passed two weeks, they were invited to a banquet. Rong Ju went with a cousin-in-law whose outspoken temperament completely silenced anyone who tried to bother her ears. 

Is this the power of being in the protagonist’s camp? Rong Ju thought to herself. She had predicted and even imagined scenarios where she would encounter jealous women and fight them off, or find out her husband had a white moonlight. She did hear rumours that the most distinguished young lady of the capital was believed to be Xu Yanling’s fiancée candidate before Rong Ju “snatched” it. These rumours, however, were quelled by the efforts of the Yun clan, the Duchy, and the imperial family, and the said candidate was then married off to another province within just several weeks. Nobody dared to undermine her at any other banquets.

Once more, Rong Ju wondered, is this the power of the protagonist?

All in all, her married life was not as scary as she had imagined it would be. While she and Xu Yanling completely obeyed the proper rules and conduct, they could still feel each other’s care and respect, where the latter soothed Rong Ju more than the former. Moreover, none of the in-laws fussed over her being so pious, always getting up as early as Xu Yanling so she could have time for daily prayer. The most joyous thing for Rong Ju personally was her visits to the temple; the in-laws did not forbid her from going to listen to the abbots and monks’ teachings. 

Life was good.

Too good.

When Rong Ju became pregnant in her fifth month of marriage and at the age of twenty plus two months, she had the worst morning sickness. She could barely walk without wanting to vomit. The imperial physician was called, and everyone fussed over her. After the three-month period passed and she became more stable, she realised something: everyone looked forward to the child very, very much. She was restricted from praying by her in-laws in such an affectionate and tender manner that Rong Ju could not argue. 

She tried to hint about going to the praying hall once or twice just to offer incense to her husband; Xu Yanling responded, "Incense might not be good for the child. Be good and listen to the parents; it will be considered filial piety.”

Rong Ju had lived her whole conscious life as a pious person, praying every day. But as she was pregnant now and being too solemn–per her mother-in-law’s words–” might be bad for the baby’s character", Rong Ju was also advised against reciting or copying scriptures. Instead, they wanted her to hear more uplifting music, a fun or light-hearted storytelling, or read stories to her baby instead of scriptures. 

“Buddha will surely understand, child,” she said.

For the first time, Rong Ju felt something akin to suffocation. 

But she was healthy for the latter months of pregnancy, except that she slept more and the old life’s dreams returned. She became much plumper, which greatly pleased every member of her in-laws' family. In the last month of her pregnancy, her mother came to the capital and showed complete happiness that Rong Ju had separated from her daily praying routine. 

One night, Rong Ju did not feel as sleepy as before and sat at the edge of the bed. She was pregnant and no longer shared the same bed with her husband, in accordance with the rules, though Xu Yanling still slept in the side hall. 

She had a strange feeling that the world seemed greyer, that the silence was deafening, and her dreams repeated over and over in her mind while awake. So she slept it off every time, making a whole lot of the in-laws’ family worry.

When the first contraction happened, Rong Ju’s sluggish state stopped, and suddenly she knew what was happening: depression. So quietly suffocating in its grip that she actually missed her old life now, where there was no need for her to follow rules just to be safe and loved, where she could pursue a dream beyond being a manager of a household.

As she went into labour, she did not think about anything from the present reality. 

The old life’s dreams were still jumbled but clearer in their visuals.

She looked at them, playing in front of her eyes as a tearing pain shot through her. 

Then she reached out her hand.

*

“Sir, Little Duke… the baby is born, it’s a boy, but the Lady—”

Silence. Silence, loud in Xu Yanling’s ears.

Someone cried, and finally the words were choked out: “The Lady passed away….”

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