PRIDE., To Me

Hip-hop is not my usual genre. However, everything changed when the Kendrick-Drake beef happened. I delved into K-Dot/K.’s discography rather than hip-hop as a whole, though, so you may call me more of a Kendrick fan rather than a fan of the genre, which I do not regret. He won the Pulitzer Prize; I wasn't even aware music lyrics could be nominated for literature prizes before Bob Dylan won the Nobel.

Rap in general, especially Kendrick's, needs to see the lyrics as a whole to see the interconnected meaning, rhythm, and subtlety. That is already available on lyrics websites; many users shared their videos and essays, or both about it. So if you actually want to understand something about the genius of Kendrick instead of musings of some rando on a free blogspot, turn away now. There’s still time. Come on…. You’re still here?

Welcome.

Today I will discuss one of my favourite songs from K.: "PRIDE." from the DAMN. album, the very album that won the Pulitzer, from a completely subjective perspective, reflecting on my own experience. At the end, I will try to summarise my experience and how the song hits hard for me.

Just FYI: this post's format will be very different from previous posts, but it will become a staple for lyric/music posts.

    Me, I wasn't taught to share, but care
    In another life, I surely was there
    Me, I wasn't taught to share, but care
    I care, I care.

Slow beats, a fragile singing voice, and a melody that felt to me like a night in the ocean with birds flying overhead from the track. K.’s rapping is slower; there seems to be a hint of both regret and deep-seated anger that washes ashore. Overall, you could tell this is a very reflective song.

I fall in love with everything that has self-reflection elements. One real sucker for it. As for the particular verse above, I relate to it on a very personal level. Even to this day, I don’t really understand how to "share" in the literal meaning of the word. I tend to reject other people's ‘sharing’ too, due to it. "Caring," though, was really something I taught myself rather than it being "taught" to me. Sure, other people—mostly adults in my life in their many capacities as either friends or family—gave pointers once in a red moon, but something innate like that needs one’s own self-work, no?

There is an aspect of “nurture vs nature” in the lyrics. Despite us not being taught to share (nurture), we still care (nature). I think that’s how humans are naturally. The act to show care that came with it, though, needs nurture’s help. The line "In another life" also fits into the whole album's story, which I’d rather handover to this dude on YouTube who explained the album's story. And maybe in another life, we could have both. Surely there’s a perfect world like that? Honestly, same, Kendrick.

    See, in a perfect world, I would be perfect, world
    I don't trust people enough beyond they surface, world
    I don't love people enough to put my faith in man
    I put my faith in these lyrics, hopin’ I make a band
    I understand I ain't perfect, I probably won't come around.

The lack of nurture K.’s received naturally led to distrust towards people. I knew ‘cause I’ve been there. You—more accurately, I—don’t grow to trust other people when you’re never shown the reason to trust them. Children that’s nurtured just in a “normal” way, from the most basic things like “sharing is caring”, have accumulated experience that people are generally trustworthy as long as you’re doing good. It’s only later in life that sayings such as “don’t trust people so easily” came and popped out, as adult trouble became more complex and life itself gets more difficult.

Yet for people like me, who never have that nurturing care, what do I accumulate throughout my early years? It’s actually not to trust people to care or share with you. I grew up not by being taught “sharing is caring”, but by the idea that “what’s mine is mine, what’s others’ is others’”. By proxy, I should just keep what’s on my plate and not ask for what’s in other’s plate. This also  That’s the line that you do not cross, and if you did anyway, it counts as a debt better repaid immediately. If you can’t repay it ASAP, then it’s better not to be in debt. 

But do you know how the perfect world is painted?

    Now, in a perfect world, I probably won't be insensitive
    Cold as December but never remember what winter did
    I wouldn't blame you for mistakes I made or the bed I laid

A child who wasn’t nurtured would, in return, not nurture the environment they grew up in. But the world is huge enough. They would have seen or heard all the alternative situations in the world to compare them with their own. This breeds resentment, jealousy, insecurity, and no matter how one copes with it, those feelings stay. But as a child or still in your developing age, you pushed them down. Not knowing any better—how?—everything repressed would then glacier’d their way out. Especially if the comparison towards others’ lives is so contrasting, you could clearly see what wrongs or gaps the environment and community that’s supposed to nurture have. 

That would lead one to have the mentality of “the worlds owe them something”. Because why didn’t they have the same things, tools, teachings, patience, love, caring, sharing, affection, et cetera that the other around them has?

Then, when this glacier point has been passed, there are usually only two ways forward. You keep repeating the cycle of being a glacier, or you “pull yourself by the bootstraps” to chase whatever was lacking in you, for nobody ever nurtured them into you. 

Either stay within the winter cold or forget them like December did, where it will always come around. 

    The hurt becomes repetition, the love almost lost that
    Sick venom in men and women overcome with pride
    A perfect world is never perfect, only filled with lies
    Promises are broken and more resentment come alive

There is no such perfect world, though.

Now, the last thing that unfortunately, I could only appreciate without any reflection from my experiences are the central theme of a lot of K.’s songs: racial tensions. Some of the lyrics above actually allude to that, but then again, this is just a post for me to think on my own experiences. Some of the notable lyrics about racial tensions are as follows:

        [Verse 1] 
    A perfect world, you probably live another 24
        [Verse 2] 
    I know the walls, they can listen, I wish they could talk back
    The hurt becomes repetition, the love almost lost that
    …
    Race barriers make inferior of you and I

I will willingly admit I took the explanations of the lyrics above from Genius. Verse 1 part can refer to a “ghost” statistic that says the life expectancy of inner city black men is 24 to 25 years, though it can also allude to “live another 24 hours”. Both draw the picture of racial tension (or war) in the USA. The second verse references K.’s song “These Walls” from “the To Pimp a Butterfly” album, where the walls here are an allegory to the barriers between races.

As I had rarely experienced any racial tension or barriers, the only thing I could give on those lyrics is the above. I'm sure there are many in the other verses that I missed. This is why I don't think I can call myself a hip-hop fan.

The song's perhaps minor theme, though, does hit me hard, as I've explained in so many paragraphs above. Another notable thing is the song's title itself: PRIDE. For a song with one of the seven sins as its title, you wouldn't expect it to be so languid, reflective, and a hint of wishy-washiness in it. "PRIDE." would be about wishing for a better world, a perfect one, that's impossible to reach because of pride. It is also about K.'s own pride.

    I can't fake humble just 'cause your ass is insecure

This line is funny to me 'cause the very next song is "HUMBLE.", which basically has him boasting through the space as being one of the greatest alive. That is also another interesting thing about the titles in the album as a whole; you would expect the song under "PRIDE." to be something that sounds like "HUMBLE.", but no. That truly shows the hypocrisy K.'s are (perhaps) struggling with, that he ruminates, tracing it back to the earliest of his nurturing, going on a tangent about a better, perfect world. 

There is more theme in the whole song itself that my own personal experience can’t cover. K. is battling with his own hypocrisy—much within the “DAMN.” album’s whole story—and religious journey. It’s tantalising to read what other people, especially hip-hop fans, know or discuss about them, so I greatly encourage you to do so. 

And that's all for today.

See you next time!